Day 28, This year, in great detail

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I'll start with April, 2009.

April 2009:

I'm in my second to last month of High School. I take this photograph, which to this day stubbornly refuses to drop out of Flickr's Explore pages, much to my surprise. This month is filled with things I will theoretically remember for the rest of my life: prom, finishing my A.P. Photography portfolio. I walk the halls with great confidence, finally feeling comfortable enough to actually socialize with people, unlike the previous three years.

May 2009:

More important stuff happening, like graduation, for instance. I have that cliche 'I can do anything' feeling. But I am also kind of sad because I'm finally leaving high school at a time when I actually like it. I don't actually think that I will really see any of these people again, and that makes everything bitter sweet.

June 2009:

I finish my 365 Day Project, which makes me feel more accomplished than graduating high school. I get a job at a newspaper, answering phones and typing up classified ads. I take great pleasure in driving home with the windows rolled down and "Never There" playing on repeat in my car.

July 2009:

I turn 18 on July 30. Steele house-sits for a family with a very nice house, in which this picture was taken. I start my '25 Possibilities' project, which I am convinced will be finished before the end of the summer but actually takes me until March.

August 2009:

I take a short trip to the Sand Dunes with Crrr and Cornie. I pack up all my belongings and drive with Steele, to Oregon. To Portland. To College. The drive takes us two days. We arrive on the hottest day of the summer.

September 2009:

I find that routine is easy to find anywhere. Steele and I have an incredibly comfortable bed, which makes it hard to get up before 11. My classes start, and when Steele and I talk about potential friends I say "There's Molly.. from Maryland" and he says "That girl Ali seems cool, but she's really quiet."

October 2009:

I go to a party with Steele at a boy named Matts house. I have my first photo critique on a project titled "The City" which I like to call 'Quiet Moments' Steele turns 19 and I bake him a cake and send him on a scavenger hunt, to find a Nixon watch. (A very mature birthday present, if I don't say so myself.)

November 2009:

I take a photograph which I will cherish forever. I come up with a concept for my final photo project, for which I need a model. While casually talking about it with Molly in drawing, Ali offers herself up. Thus, we are friends. Steele and I go to her house for Thanksgiving, and have a grand time.

December 2009:

The 14th is Steele and I's two year anniversary. I take my favorite photo of him that I've ever taken. After finals, which pass without too much trouble (though I do have my first in-the-studio-till-close night) we fly back to Colorado for winter break.

January 2010:

Being home is not right and not wrong. It feels somehow like going backwards, but it's still good to see everyone. I spend more time with Crrr than anyone, which is nice, so nice. We go ice-skating. I love her. When Steele and I get back to Portland, I start the Ensnare series. Something which has been causing angst ever since.

February 2010:

I start to work with a 4x5 camera in photo. I am photographing, for my still life project, old letters and journals. I feel nostalgic. I start working at the front desk on Mondays and Tuesdays until 11:30, which guarantees I will be exhausted for at least half of every week.

March 2010:

I realize that I only have 5 GB left of my hard drive. Very bad news considering the fact that I upload a couple hundred photos to my computer every day. I finish my 25 Possibilities. I buy a pair of floral rain boots. I begin to feel uneasy about the future.

April 2010:

I finish the Ensnare series. I take a short break from Flickr. I start this 30 Day Project, with the idea that it will make the month of April go by faster, getting me to May, getting me to a single week of school remaining. I start a film diary in which I write things down, photograph them, and throw them away. I feel uneasy, uneasy, and restless. I spend more time with Ali. I worry about the summer. I wait anxiously for the summer. Steele and I plan a small road trip. I frantically try to finish all my school work. I miss Crrr. Today while uploading photos, a message popped up "Disk Space Full" I have been deleting things since March.

Day 27, This month, in great detail

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Actually several things have happened within the last month.

1. Cornie and Taylor came to visit, which made me ready to go home and see my friends (what few I have) again.
2. I've been noticing how long my hair has gotten. (I know this seems trivial to all of you, by goddamn has it been short for ages. Now it is long enough for me to put in my mouth which is a REALLY bad habit I've aquired.)
3. Crrr got me a journal for graduation. I wrote in in twice, then didn't, but I finally picked it up again at the end of March. This is good because it proves that I am a real person and not just a profile on the internet. This is bad because it makes me realize how totally confused I am about my emotions 90% of the time.
4. A lot of emotional stuff has been going on that I am not comfortable posting to a blog, even one nobody reads.

Anyways. I figured you faceless nameless readers might be tired of the way I was going about these "in detail" posts. So I've decided to try a new method, for your sake. (Or just for mine, it's quite cumbersome to type all that out.) It's called.... a good ol' fashioned list.

April 2010:

April 1: The Ceremics club holds a lemonade sale, in which they sale lemonade in hand made ceremic cups. Steele and I bought 5. HAHAHA, we don't even need to buy dishes for next year.
April 3: My Modernism paper starts showing up in my to-do lists. (You know that I obviously ignore this.)
April 4: I write in my journal: In a year today won't mean anything, despite everything that I'm worrying about.
April 7: The day before my crit for my Photo portrait series. I am frantically printing all day long, and I feel like it is the project in which I have produced my worst work.
April 8: For drawing, I make a small symbol drawing, which is about Steele and I. On it I put tally marks for how many days we've been together. 846 days, as of April 8.
April 10: I start to feel restless for summer. I write in my journal: There's so much stuff I want to DO. Ugh, it's unbearable how much time I spend thinking about these things and not doing them.
April 14: I meet with Mark (my photo teacher) about what work I should submit for a scholarship. Afterwards, I go shoot film for my new project, a landscape project for which I am shooting parking lots.
April 15: I write in my journal: Everytime I have a dream it feels so familiar. Like I've had it before a million times. But I have no way of knowing.
April 17: I drop off the photos for the scholarship. I write in my journal: I try to capture what I see or imagine but maybe what I see just ins't as beautiful as what other people do.
April 20: I make the ink video, and mail four letters. (Two of them are free prints, so I'm not sure they count as letters though.) I write in my journal: I feel so passionless. I can't wait for summer.
April 23: I turn my Modernism paper in.
April 26: I write in my journal: Why am I always second guessing myself?
April 27: I take a self portrait I rather like. (My hair looks long.) I finish a book. I hate my design class. I miss by best friend. I feel confused. I want the school year to end.

And now I am here, writing this blog, listening to 'Star Mile' by Joshua Radin. I have to number my edition of prints still, for the exchange. I will be at work for another hour, then I will tumble into bed and sleep until 7:30, or 7:40, or 7:50.

Day 26, My week, in great detail

Monday, April 26, 2010

Exactly a week ago it was Monday, the 19th. I was sitting at the front desk at 11:45, just like I am right now. I was working on my 8-10 page Modernism paper. I probably went home and collapsed into bed. I don't get off until 12:30, which means I don't get to bed until at least 1.

On Tuesday I would have woken up at 7:30 (or 7:40, or 7:50) to get to Design at 8. In design we had to give an oral proposal of our idea for the body extension project. (I proposed to make very long glasses with multiple lenses.) We we all in a circle, around a table, and I kept falling asleep. (In a very bright classroom, mind you!) Which was pretty embarrassing. At 11:30, I had Photo. I developed some images. One came out fine. The other came out too dark, but I like it. It's probably not okay to print it, but I might anyways. Just to spite the man. (Or something.) I take some photos of ink moving in water. I'm off to Art History. I don't fall asleep. I got back home after, and put together a video with the images I took until 9:30, when I have to work again. And again, I work on my Modernism paper. I almost finish. But I don't. Sometime in this day, I write in my journal: My thoughts don't make much sense sometimes, but if I don't write them down I forget them entirely and there's something sad about not knowing what's in your own head.

Wednesday I have drawing, a work day for our series project. I get frustrated because mine isn't going the way I want, and I spend a lot of the class moping around. I guess I should write more of my thoughts down, because I don't remember too much from this day. I edit my Modernism paper. Blah-blah-blah.

Thursday I get up for design, go, have nothing to do, and leave at 10. (which is early) I promptly go back to sleep until 11:20, just in time for photo. I must have done something in photo, why can't I remember? Did I develop film? If I did, I can't remember shooting more images. Hmmph. Okay, anyways. AH, blah blah blah. After AH, and after Steele leaves for Design, I pump myself up to shoot the next (and last) ensnare shoot. Which I do. It goes fine and I am pleased. I edit the photo, post it, and feel accomplished. Then I do the bibliography for my Modernism paper. (Can you see a trend here, with the Modernism paper?) I am supposed to also write a small essay, which I don't, which will be the death of me.

Friday I turn in my Modernism paper!!! Yay! Steele goes golfing with Beth afterwords (boring) and I hang out with Ali. We go to a really yummy cafe, where she sketches some people and I contemplate starting a 100 Strangers Project. (But I am scared, and don't know if I can do it.) We go shopping at some thrift stores and I buy nothing, and she buys overalls. Then we go to the Dollar Tree (Hooray!) where I buy 6 pairs of glasses for my Design project. Joy. Ali's mom makes us dinner and we watch a movie, and I go to bed, where I have a vivid zombie dream featuring my Aunt Koko and all her kids. (Not as zombies, they all kick ass at zombie fighting.)

Saturday I lay in bed with Steele watching TV. House, Lost, Project Runway. We go out to Home Depot to get even more Design supplies, and buy groceries. We come home and make yummy sandwiches. Then I have to work at 5. I go to work, bored out of my mind now that I don't have to write my Modernism paper.

Sunday you know all about if you read my last blog. But I did forget to say that I took a nice long shower.

AND today, I have been to drawing, where my project has turned around for the better. I went to Modernism, and found out I got an A- on my paper! Woooo. I've been reading some fanfiction, and a book I posted about earlier, Sloppy Firsts. I developed the film I shot yesterday, and it came out fine except for the only image I like, I accidentally scratched. Boo. I flatten all my prints for the exchange. Mm. Steele and I go to Starbucks,I help him with his design project. Now I am here. Listening to 'Sweet Surrender' and typing this up when I should have been re-writing an AH paper I need to raise the grade on.

Day 25, My day, in great detail

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The alarm clock goes off at 8 am. Steele snoozes it and I wake up again at 9, and promptly go back to sleep. I wake up again at 10. (the time I am supposed to be leaving the house for the photo studio.) I get up, get dressed in one of Crrr's tops, and leave Steele sleeping in the bedroom. I get a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, only to find that it was been invaded by ants. Boo. :( I read a few chapters of a fanfiction, despite the fact that I'm already late for my photo work.

I go back in the bedroom to tell Steele I'm leaving. He's still asleep. But he's nice and warm and snuggly so I kiss him on the head and wake him up. Then I finally leave. Wednesday the 28th is the Photography Department Print Exchange, and I have to make an 18 print edition in order to participate. (I will be getting prints in return) I decided to print a negative from my portrait assignment (Which I realize none of you have seen, I'm working on that...) Here's how printing and edition works: I set up my enlarger, etc. etc. I make a few (four, to be exact) test strips to determine my exposure time. (For future reference: 12 seconds, at f11 with a number 4 filter.) I make a test print to assure that all is in order. I develop it, stop it, fix it, and dry it make sure it looks gooooood. It does. All of this takes over an hour, blech. Now I have to expose 18 sheets of paper with that same exposure, and develop them all, stop them all, fix them all, hypo-clear them all, and wash them all. Whew. I expose 9 at a time, develop 3 at a time, and once those 3 are in the fix I start with the next 3. Processing all these takes a good 3 hours. Somewhere in that three hours I have a mini fantasy/daymare that I am in the darkroom printing while all the while a ZOMBIE is on the loose around the campus. Ahhh. I look around the darkroom to see if there's any weapons. Nada. I come to the conclusion that I'll have to stab the zombie with a pen until it dies. I accept that I'll be the "hot interesting photo girl" in the story who dies within 10 minutes of the intro.

While my prints are in the wash I hang out in the computer lab, reading more fanfiction. I also bring up a Modernism reading, so that when people walk by I can quickly act like I am NOT on a site with a pink background, which boasts the title "Granger Enchanted" At 3:15 or so, I pull all my prints from the wash and put 'em on the drying dry. I head home ready to see a masterful drawing from Steele. I walk in the door... to discover he has accomplished mere inches on his drawing. He is at his computer, watching some sports thingy with has really obnoxious commentators. Bah. It's 4:30. He is in desperate need of art supplies and has to run out real quick before Art Media closes at 5. While he's gone I make myself a bowl of ramen noodles and read more fanfiction. When he gets back, after he eats, we leave to go shoot some film for my new photo assignment. (Landscape.) I am shooting parking lots. We get to the stop of a spectacularly empty parking garage, only to be kicked out by a measly security guard. Grrr. We drive to the mall, shoot a couple of frames, and I get depressed because my project isn't going so well. But I guess that's what I get for decided to photograph empty lots of pavement.

We drive downtown to another mall, but find nothing worthwhile. On the way back we stop at a small parking lot and I shoot off one more frame. Such success, I have shot 3 sheets of film.

But the time we get back it's past 7. I open up the cabinets and decide to make some strawberry Jello. Yum. After that, Steele and I open up our computers and read the handout for Modernism. We debate on what to do next: Go up to the studio and work on drawing or go up to the photo studio and shoot some photos for one of Steele's paintings. We end up in the bedroom, talking about completely random stuff which is nice because it feels like we haven't really talked like that in forever, even though we live together. I feel guilty for not working on drawing, by not guilty enough. Steele gets up to go to the bathroom, and I realize I have yet to write this blog. "I have to write my blog!" I shout, and I get up to walk to the living room and open up my computer. And here I am, typing up way too much. Steele is next to me, singing me some songs. (Tilly and the Wall to be specific)

It's 11:56 pm. And now it's time for bed, for I have to get up for an 8 am class tomorrow. :)

Day 24, Whatever tickles my fancy

Saturday, April 24, 2010

This doesn't really tickle my fancy, I guess. But it is on my mind.
I'm not posting this for pity, I'm posting it to document my life. d

Day 23, A youtube video

Friday, April 23, 2010

So, to give credit, it wasn't me who found this. I originally saw it on Crrr's tumblr. :) Either way, it's worth 3 minutes and 27 seconds of your day.

Day 22, A website

Thursday, April 22, 2010

This is the website of a very inspiring photographer living in Paris. I'm actually not entirely sure how I found his website--perhaps an art blog?

The images he posts are completely amazing, and have inspired me so much already. I am in complete awe looking at them. I'm not going to post any here because that would defeat the point of a website post! But to anyone looking at this, please please take a look at his work.

Day 21, A reciepe

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Awesome Cobbler
1/4 c. butter
1/2 c. white sugar
1 c. flour
1/4 t. salt
2 t. baking powder
1/2 c. milk

Fruity goodness:
2 c. fresh peaches (or any fruit really, I've used raspberries, apples, strawberries, pears, etc. And combinations are delicious too.)
1/4 c. white sugar
1 c. water
1 t. cinnamon

1. Preheat oven to 365 degrees. Lightly butter 9x9 inch glass pan. (Or whatever baking dish is reasonably sized.)
2. Cream the butter and 1/2 c. sugar.
3. In seperate bowl mix flour, salt, and baking poweder. Add to the creamed mixture alternately with the milk.
4. Spread mixture evenly into baking dish.
5. Spoon fruit over batter, sprinkly with cinnamon and sugar. Poor water over the stop.
6. Bake for 45-55 mintues.
7. EAT!!!!!!

*I totally came up with the name on the spot. In my reciepe book it's untitled, I just know it on sight.

Day 20, A Hobby of mine

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

*A quick note on hobbies--they do not have Hobby Lobby's here in Oregon. The first time I mentioned one people looked at me like I was talking about some unknown disease. Now everytime I am in dire need of craft supplies (which is often as I go to a craft school...) I always say "Well we could go to Hobb... I mean, Michales."

So, a hobby. Oh that's a tough one. I think everything I do I do for class. Drawing, sketching, journaling, collaging, etc.

I like to make little books. I'm taking a bookarts class next year and I'm super excited. I'm not very good right now, obviously, because I don't really know how I just kind of make stuff up.

This is a mini calander! It has old film photos of mine for the pictures :)

And this is a little book I made for someone on Flickr. It has a Valentines day story in it :)

But, sigh, next year when I'm taking bookarts, will it really be a hobby anymore? It'll just be class work.

Day 19, A talent of mine

For some reason I feel weird posting a blog which proclaims photography as my talent. But sadly, there is nothing else I can do, and therefore nothing else I can post on. I've put some of the images I'm proud of below, and you can be the judge of talent.

Day 18, Whatever tickles my fancy

Sunday, April 18, 2010

For Modernism, we have to write an 8-10 page research paper on something in the 20th century. I'm writing mine on the photographer Imogen Cunningham. I've written 6 pages so far.. and it's due on Friday. So I guess I'm doing okay.. But anyway, her work is very beautiful and inspiring, and some of my favorite images are below.

Day 17, An art piece

Saturday, April 17, 2010

This is a piece for Drawing class. It was for the memory assignment. The title is "As insignificant as insects" and it's a memory from the summer after sophomore year. It's done in ink and watercolor, and I did the stars by using a masking fluid. :)

Day 16, A song that makes me cry (or nearly)

Friday, April 16, 2010

I don't feel like explaining this.

Day 15, A fanfic

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Well, since Crrr already posted about possibly the best Harry Potter fan fiction ever.. (Tira Nog) I will post a silly one-shot.

It's called Hardboiled and it's pretty silly and doesn't actually have much to do with Harry Potter, but it makes me laugh.

Another one I'm also reading right now is Conventional Wisdom, which is a next-gen with an OC for the main character. Despite that though, it's pretty good. (As long as you don't mind waiting for updates, that is..)

Let me just say that I love hpff. As embarrassing as it is, I'll probably never stop reading it, because people will never stop writing it.

Day 14, A non-fictional book

It's real I tell you! It's real!!!

Okay, so I am a bad bad teenager and I don't think I've ever finished a non-fictional book. I mean.. I started reading one about Marie Antoinette, and there was some environmental one.. but it is late, and I want to go to bed, and I don't feel like bullshitting this blog post, so I will just be honest and say that I haven't read one. And if I have, it obviously wasn't very memorable. If it wasn't so late I would post about one I wanted to read, but it is, so you faceless nameless people should suggest one!

Day 13, A finctional book

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Okay, so technically this is a series, but whatever. When I started reading these, I was in eighth grade. Jessica Darling, the main character, was slightly older than me, but close enough that I could relate. When I started them they were in the young adult section at the bookstore, and by the end they were in the adult section, as Jessica had grown up and her activities grown a little inappropriate for young adults, hehe. They're light to read, they're serious sometimes, but in a teenage way (which is to say, maybe not so much.) Plus, Jessica Darling is pretty damn witty. As I read on a review blog: "Read these. They are good, light, fun reads but they have real guts, real heart. I don’t know what else to say. Don’t be a book snob. Read them."

Day 12, Whatever tickles my fancy

Monday, April 12, 2010

Today a Haiku tickles my fancy.

Touched my fingers to
a typewriters keys and wrote
'Hello sir,' she said.

Day 11, A photo of me taken recently

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Well I take a lot of photos of myself. I tried to take one that actually looks like me and not Flickr-y pose-y me. I think this accomplishes that. Since my hair has grown out I have this really bad habit of sucking on the ends of it. It's horrible. Usually I just put it up though, but I'm trying to get used to having it down. I mean what's the point if I have it up and it looks short anyways? But a good thing about having long hair is that I can finally flip it!!

Day 10, A photo of me taken over 10 years ago

Saturday, April 10, 2010

This is me! On the right, my brother is the scrawny boy on the left. This was (as you can see by the date stamp) taken in 1999. I was 8. I actually have no idea where it was taken though... I have a horrible memory. I don't really remember anything from my childhood. If not for the date stamp I wouldn't even know when it was taken.

Day 9, A photo I took

Friday, April 9, 2010

Well, hopefully by now you know that I take a lot of pictures. I decided to post one that isn't on Flickr. I actually just took it today. So it's never been seen! Oooh exciting.

That is Steele!

Day 8, A photo that makes me sad

Thursday, April 8, 2010

This picture makes me sad because it was taken at a time when:

A. I was having the worst summer of my life.
B. I felt like I had the entire world in front of me, like I had so much room to grow. I don't feel that way anymore and I don't know if it's because I've grown up since then, but it is sad.

This was taken about 3 months after the last photo I posted. It's crazy to me how much my life went downhill (at least in my eyes then) in that amount of time.

Day 7, A photo that makes me happy

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

This is a photo taken of me and a sampling of my cousins (I have 26 cousins, and 8 second cousins), when I was 15, in tenth grade. It was the first time I was in an art show, and even though I didn't win anything, I just got accepted, it was a pretty big deal. So a few of my aunts and my grandma came to the opening, and we all went out to dinner beforehand. This was right as I was walking up to them, and four of my cousins totally ambushed me. They're just so cute! Looking at this picture always makes me smile :) Even though I don't really spend that much time with my cousins.

Day 6, Whatever tickles my fancy

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

For day 6, I'm going to post a stop motion video I made of my finished sketchbook.I just finished it in the last couple of days. And I think it is the first sketchbook I have ever finished completely. I'm sorry you can't really see the pages in detail.

Untitled from Brittany Chavez on Vimeo.

Day 5, My favorite quote

Monday, April 5, 2010

When I was a junior in high school, my best friend Stuart told me he loved me. It was a big ordeal, emotionally. It was hard for me because I really and truly wanted to feel that way for him, but I didn't and it was hard for me to admit that. Somewhere, sometime, I had opened up a Jones soda (probably Green Apple flavor, they're my favorite) the inside of the cap said: "Accept no substitutes for that which is genuine." I felt like I had been waiting that entire year. But I saw that cap during this ordeal, and I knew that I had to wait for someone who I felt real about. I waited.

I still try to live by that quote. I'm not sure how far I've gotten from it, but I try.

Day 4, My favorite book

After Harry Potter, I'm going to say White Oleander, by Janet Fitch. Her other novel, Paint It Black, is also really good.

White Oleander is about motherhood, it's about growing pains, identity, strength. There's also a movie, which isn't bad, but the book's a million times better. (The image above is from the movie.)I couldn't really say why I like it as much as I do. It feels like stories inside stories, almost.

I'm going to post two quotes which I love:

"Dear Astrid
I know what you are learning to endure. There is nothing to be done. Just make sure nothing is wasted. Take notes. Remember it all, every insult, every tear. Tattoo it on the inside of your mind. In life, knowledge of poisons is essential. I've told you, nobody becomes an artist unless they have to.

"I'd seen a couple of Claire's movies now. She was transparent, heartbreaking. I would be afraid to be so vulnerable. I'd spend the last three years trying to build up some kind of skin, so I wouldn't drip every time I brushed up against something. She was naked, she peeled herself daily."

Definitley worth a read if you've got time to spare for 446 pages.

Day 3, My favorite television program

Saturday, April 3, 2010

It was a hard choice. When I watch TV, I don't aimlessly flip through the channels. But I do watch a few shows, mostly online because I don't get that many channels (or good reception) where I'm living. The two big ones are House and Lost.

I'm choosing Lost for this blog. I think I feel a little more fond of it because I've been watching it since the Pilot episode, when I was in 8th grade. There are a lot of plot lines, some of them which seem to have been forgotten about, and there's a lot of weird stuff, but there's also some really great characters, and everything ties in together. I like it because of the character development mostly. The time jumps are interesting. (Although now they're more like sideways jumps.) I mean really, it's just addictive. Which is what TV is meant to be.

(As you can see, I like Sawyer. He's the perfect mix of complicated, serious, tender, and sarcastic.)

Day 2, My favorite movie

Friday, April 2, 2010

When I was in 7th or 8th grade, I was at a family friends house spending the night. I was sleeping in her long grown daughters bedroom, in which there was a copy of the movie Reality Bites. I watched it. I loved it. I still watch it, and I still love it. Though it has many bad reviews on Netflix, I like the feeling it gives me. It's a nice movie to watch when you're feeling uncertain about your future, which I am quite often. It's also the movie which inspired me to cut my hair short, hehe.

Day 1, My favorite song

Thursday, April 1, 2010

I've tried to deny it and I've tried to convince myself that my favorite song is something more soft, lyrical, or whatever, but my favorite song is undeniably "Never There" by Cake.

It's kind of a silly song, but so fun to dance to, and I can listen to it no matter what mood I'm in. Like today for instance. A pretty shitty day due to my upcoming photo project and my lack of focused negatives. But oh, this song. I love it. I just wanna hit the replay button.