Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Real, or not real.



Today simplified

Today was my twenty first birthday. I could give you an itinerary of the day. (Steele brings me breakfast in bed, we go shopping, a trip to Sauvies Island, dinner, drinks) or I could tell you this:

Steele and I are on a blanket in a bowl of grass. We are surrounded by little wheat plants going up into a fading blue sky. Today is my birthday but it is not a perfect day. It is a real day, with thoughts and little struggles and kisses and sun. And a blue sky stretching wide above me. I hope, with all of my twenty-one-year-old heart, that the sky above me always is wide and blue. 

That is my most ardent wish. 


Sunday, July 29, 2012

The last portrait of me as a twenty year old girl. Tomorrow is my birthday. Another marking of time. And the river today at 6 p.m. No time attached to it.


Saturday, July 28, 2012

Things about this photograph:

The 405. 
Underpass sand slipping into my sandals. 
The warm wind billowing under. 
Lens flares on cement. 
Being underneath.


We went camping at Soda Lake. Every time I do something like this, go somewhere that is really beautiful, I tend to beat myself up afterwards for not taking more photos. One thing I hate about Flickr & the photography I encounter there is that it makes me feel like I have to do some fashion-esque type photo shoot. 

The truth is that I woke up this morning in a tent. When I stuck my head outside it was foggy and chilly and Steele and the boys had gone off so I was alone. I went and sat on a rock on the lakeside and I could pretty clearly picture the photographs I could take. I could wade out into the water and take a picture there. If I had, I would probably be pretty pleased with myself. But I didn't. Because I wanted to be still. And because it was cold, and I wasn't wearing glasses yet. That's it. Hopefully I don't regret too much all the images that I could have made. 

For now, here it what's committed to my hard drive forever:




Right before bed. Exhausted. Steele & I were working kinda late and then had some friends over for lavender chocolate chip cookies. Yum. 

Lots of bike riding for me. 

And sleepiness. And last minute picture taking. 



This is Steele with the bike he just finished! He's been fixing it up. The frame was his dads. I've watched him work on finishing this bike for a while now and I'm really proud of him.


It's a beauty and it photographs well. 


Thursday, July 26, 2012

This was taken on a cliff in Anacortes, WA. Here I'm standing at the top of it, but you could walk down through rocks and grass and get to the very edge, and look out at the bay. Water almost surrounding you. I really liked it up there. It felt like taking a huge inhale. 

And I love this image :) It's so dramatic, but I loved standing up there with Steele. This was taken in the morning. We had gone up here previously the night before, and it was rainy and cloudy and Steele and I stood just like this and little pinprick raindrops hit my cheek and mouth. 




From the drive up to Washington to visit our friend AJ.


Friday, July 20, 2012

Steele and I saw The Dark Knight Rises last night. Technically it was today and since the movie and the events in Aurora have been on my mind I want to use this photo for today. 

Here is what I wrote in my journal after returning home:

July 19, 2012

Tonight Steele and I went to see the third Batman movie. It was a midnight showing and I was afraid I would fall asleep, but I didn't. 
I liked it for a lot of reasons by mostly because watching it was like being faced with an open human heart. 
I like movies like that. Books like that. Stories like that. 
If I lived every day looking into an open heart, 
I would be raw. 
But life would mean more I think. 
Maybe I'll strive for that. To peel my heart open daily and stare into it. 

By the time our movie was starting, 12 people were dead in Colorado. I took this photo afterwards because I thought it was silly. So much trash. So many people, and this is what's left behind after it's over. This is the evidence. 

I didn't know that I would wake up and hear about a shooting I can't make sense of. But I did. 


I have been learning so much, doing so much, and pushing myself hard. These are all good things, but they leave me feeling out of sorts. My mind hasn't had time to catch up. Myself hasn't had time to catch up, maybe? 

This weekend Steele and I are going to Washington to visit a good friend of ours and I'm looking forward to the quiet time to relax and organize my thoughts. To breathe and take a step back and see where I stand now. 

I think I'm standing higher. 


A few color images taken with the A pinhole. I am really really pleased with the top one. Brian saw it as a negative and thought it was a mountain. But it's just my knees. I guess they're a mountain to something very small. 

Those are all my thoughts. I have one more black and white rolls of film to develop from this camera. Then I'm not sure when I'll be able to use it again, as I was commissioned to make it and it's now out of my hands. Not really mine. 


So if you've been following my Instagram (or you've run into me on campus recently) you know I've been working on this mysterious Crafted In Portland project. We crafted (hehe) large scale letter forms that spell out Crafted In Portland. Each letter represents a craft trade. The two letters I worked on were an A that represented photography, and an L that represented letterpress. The A I made into a camera.

This is it, finished! The top part is a functioning camera and the photos above were taken with it and developed and scanned in the labs at OCAC. 

It's a pretty sweet feeling to make a camera. I have (or had, until now) 0% woodworking skills. I've spent the past few weeks learning how to use all the tools and turn this little sketch of an idea into a functioning thing. That is a really awesome feeling too. Anyways, I'm pretty pleased with the images. They are dark and blurry. But I made them. 


Monday, July 16, 2012

Today was rough. 


Sunday, July 15, 2012

Wood/Skin (Left is sanded plywood, Right is blushing cheek)

Today I was sanding plywood for my internship project, and while trying to get some wood glue off I sanded through the top layer of veneer. The wood underneath was orange. Or it might have been the glue holding the layers together. I'm not sure. It was beautiful though, it made the wood blush. So I took a picture of it blurry and took a blurry picture of my flushed cheek. And here we are. 


Saturday, July 14, 2012


So many wood photos because right now that's my life. But everyday I fall a little bit more in love with wood. Also, this photo is a good example of how shooting Instagram/iPhone is good for me. I was standing around, procrastinating for a bit on Steele's iPhone and decided to take a photo of the wood table beneath me and one of my arm to picstich together. But I really ended up liking the contrast of it, and decided to take some photos with my 'serious' camera. Having an iPhone (or dating someone with one, haha) can be distracting. But having the ability to shoot all the time with no pressure is a serious boost to my inspiration.

The Instagram version. 

The Instagram version is a photograph of Beech, and the 'serious' one is Myrtle. The Myrtle is the wood I was working with for the day, so I feel a little more fond towards it. <3


My friend Eddie is chainsawing a very large log for the project we're working on. It's still fresh so the inside is this beautiful pink color and the shavings are still damp. Newborn wood. It's so beautiful, every time I'm around it I can't help touching it and piling up the shavings, even though Steele and Eddie think I'm silly. 

Being in the wood shop means constantly being covered in dust.