Friday, November 23, 2012


(For the record, I wrote this last night. Just didn't post it because of the backlog.)

Let me talk a little bit about today.

I woke up with Steele pulling the covers around, complete nonsense. My alarm was going off, but my phone had been set to vibrate and in my sleep-mind I thought that had some correlation with it being a holiday. Like it wouldn't really be loud because it was the holiday alarm.

We made pumpkin pie, I had gone out yesterday to get all the things, including a pie-dish, which we did not have. I find it really funny to begin acquiring all these things that "grown-ups" have in their homes. It's a strange feeling to know I might have this pie-dish for 20 more years and to be able to say something like, "I got this pie-dish when Steele and I were 21." (Although I honestly hope not because it is not really the highest quality pie-dish.)

The light was really beautiful today. It was sunny, bright, cloudy, white, crisp, soft, all of it. I am so grateful (read: thankful) for light. Truly. I think it is one of the best parts about life. I am also thankful for Steele. I'm thankful for the family we're building together. (read: not pregnant, a family can be made up of two.)  I don't know how to sum it up in one sentence, but if I try it might be something like this: everyday I spend with him is whole. Whole in the unbroken sense. Not necessarily perfect, but entirely complete.

I'm thankful for my friends and the little tiny community I've created here. I was going through my archives and read a post when I started OCAC about how I knew I wouldn't be fully comfortable until it was almost time for me to leave. And it's true. I've finally grown into this place, I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and I'm so happy to be surrounded by the people I'm surrounded by. And it is almost over.

I'm thankful that I have a way to capture the things in my life. Not just with images, but with words. Not just with instagram, but with 35mm film too. I can't imagine my life without these little residues, although I'm sure it would go on and would, in fact, be a life. It would be unfamiliar to me. So I'm grateful for this blog. For my ability to see and think and comprehend, even a little bit, my memory. 

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