Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Today I sat on Melina's bed in her tiny apartment and watched the sky fade from my favorite dusk blue to the dark blue of summer nighttime. It was lovely and we got to talk about a whole range of subjects. Oh the joy. I really do like having the friends that I do. :)

I have been thinking a lot about my future. The path I'm taking right now feels very jagged and twisted and like it's not going anywhere, but hopefully that's normal. I was talking to Ali and Melina today about needing to form some goals and figure out what I want to do with my life. I was sitting in a bar yesterday and had this awful gut wrenching fear that my life in Portland would become that--sitting in bars, drinking cheap beer. Obviously it won't if I don't let it, but the initial fear is there. 

I have an urge to move away from Portland. Not right away because I feel at home and comfortable here. But eventually. It is a little dream that is scary. To live somewhere new where I might not have any friends. But a scary dream that might push me in all the right ways. 

I've also been thinking about this 365 project the past few days. 

Honestly it has become a chore. I find myself (and you readers find me) posting multiple blogs every few days just to catch up. I'm considering just ending the project now, but I'm not really sure. I'm excited for the blog--I have a few things I would like to start doing here. Some modeled after some of my favorite blogs or little things I've found on the internet. And some that are just coming from within. 

So, look forward for that. 

I think I will finish the 365. It's a compulsion to just finish a project. To bring it round circle. 17 days isn't too long. It's not too long, but hopefully it's enough time to fall back in love with this project. 17 days is enough time to push myself, I think. 

1 comment :

  1. You can do it! Just a little bit further...a few more days....one more thing to cross off. Completed. Then to start fresh!


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