crumbling pillar

Monday, October 7, 2013

I have spoken a few times about my crumbling pillar. Basically, what I mean by that, is that my world as I knew it has ended. Crumbled. And needs to be rebuilt.

I had the pleasure of attending a birthday party for a friend two nights ago and got to be around so many people that I've missed. It was a welcome reminder that my pillar isn't so crumbled as I imagine, and also that it's up to me to rebuild it.

This is all very cryptic.

Being out of school, one of the weirdest things is how little human contact I have. Of course, I am lucky to have so many wonderful people inside my heart. And some of them I do see quite often. The best ones, of course. But I guess I hadn't realized how much I would miss all of the people that I don't see that often. Or just being around people in general. Being known. Talking. Joking. Laughing.

Sometimes I go the whole morning without ever opening my mouth to speak.

It's a strange thing.

So anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really value the relationships I have in my life. Big and small. Often seen, and not often seen. Even though this pillar of mine is crumbling sometimes, I am so lucky to have had a pillar at all. I'm so lucky to have the ability to rebuild it.

And on that note, I'm also grateful for those of you who read this blog. One of the best things I get is the occasional comment or message from someone who has been reading quietly all along. I happened to get a rather nice one the other day and it just made me realize how far beyond my inner circle these words might stretch and touch. That's a wonderful thought.

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