rambling identity

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Oh man you guys.

Every time I open up this blank little square the only thing that comes into my head is silly metaphors.

Like, my life is a puzzle that fell apart and now I'm putting back all the pieces, painstakingly constructing some semblance of a human being.

Pretty horrible.





So instead of that metaphor have this image I shot the other day.


I think I have been drawn to photographing my shadow and reflection for a long while because I don't know exactly yet who I am. It's a silhouette. A cut out with no innards. A human that's nothing. All the person of it is removed. 

There's a truth to them, and that is that I really don't know who I am yet. The past 16 or so years of my life have been taken up with school--routine--purpose--schedule. And now that is all cut off from me. I'm free to start my real life. Only now I have to learn, slowly, what I want my real life to be. 

So here's a simple list, of my observations so far:

> I'm a morning person who has a hard time waking up. 
> I like the act of making tea or coffee, even if I don't drink it. 
> Time spent doing the dishes or cleaning up is not a waste. 
> I'm happiest when I read a little bit before bed every night. 
> Riding my bike every day has made me appreciate the world so much more--even though sometimes gearing up for the ride across town can be rough, once I'm on my bike, I'm happy and grateful that I've been forced to use it as transportation. 
> I need projects to keep me motivated. 
> I like writing stories but it's hard for me to build characters. 
> Cooking is a fun, gratifying hobby. Even though it's expensive, I could never live on cheap food. 
> Reaching out to people, even little comments or texts, makes my world bigger. Human interaction is important.

Maybe soon I'll take a real self portrait. Staring straight in the eyes kind of thing. Like, "I know who I am, and you know who I am."

But not today. Today have my shadow and try to piece me together. 

3 comments :

  1. Looked through your posts and many of them are so casual. We so enjoy and I look here often.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoy.

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  2. Your observation list is phenomenal! And I share some of them!

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