pine-needle air

Sunday, November 30, 2014


I guess it's time to write about life and junk? Things like, what I'm grateful for and how pine-needely the air at the tree farm was today. 

I have some photos for you all, these black and white tree farm shots, but you know, I have to get the right words to go in front of them and all I can think about it how it feels like not much has happened in the past year, but then I compare this time last year to now and it all feels so different. (How's that for a run-on sentence for you?)

So, anyway, here goes nothing:

I'm thankful for. . . 

Light (always No.1)
Steele & our relationship
Run-on sentences (also comma overuse) 
My brother
And my parents
And my people (my people)
And all the people everywhere (you!)
Oh, people
I'm thankful for books
Words
Language
The ability to express myself (somewhat)
Also so thankful for the Gilmore Girls 


Okay! Now for the Tree Farm. Last year it was all snowy. Today it was all clear and sunny and bustling (Saturday morning tree rush) Hence the monochrome, I can't deal with sunny saturated color mostly. And I was not as prepared as the professional photographer that brought a strobe kit for some fill light ;) 

blogpost no.2, or how Gilmore Girls relates to my BFA thesis

Thursday, November 20, 2014

I took this screen shot a few weeks ago. A little background incase you are not Gilmore Girls literate: This comes from Season 2, Episode 8, in which Lorelai has found out the inn she runs is going to be closing and as such, she feels like she's leaving her home behind. 

She's leaving this place filled with so many memories, a Memory Home. What a funny phrase. I had never really heard it used in this context. (When you Google Memory Home, a lot of retirement and alzheimer homes come up.) It is a particularly striking phrase to me, for if you don't remember:




This is my BFA Thesis Paper. If you don't mind me using an extended metaphor: Memory is the thread that wraps around all my work and binds it together. This thesis, and otherwise, other later work. It binds the everyday moments to the poignant ones. It binds the cell phone pictures to the photographs made with 120 film. It binds a to-do list to a letter to a journal entry to a short story to a personal essay. It builds me up, it is the framework for my existence. 

Whew. 

Anyway. So you can imagine my excitement when I saw that phrase, Memory Home, in my Netflix subtitles, which watching my most recent TV obsession. Lorelai and I have different Memory Homes. Her is a physical place, a place that she works at and is rooted in. And while place is important for me to (a literal home is a beautiful thing) my Memory Homes are the photographs I take. Or rather, my photographs are the homes for my memories. (Is this getting a little complicated?)

I love that this phrase appears in Gilmore Girls. I love that this is a concept that we all deal with, whether we think about it or not. I love that memory lives in the backgrounds of our lives, and records all of our separate moments, and brings them together for something that resembles a life lived, a home. 

At the end of my Thesis proposal I write: By photographing something am I allowing myself to forget it, rather than remember it? That question still puzzles and unsettles me. But for better or for worse photography and memory are intertwined, and my photographs will remain the homes for my memories. 

_____
*I feel like it should also be noted that this is the first post about my thesis since my thesis ended. Feels somehow monumental. 

a note about those fall leaves

Monday, November 17, 2014

Portland couldn't make up it's mind this year. The leaves turned and started to fall, but the sun still came out and the temperatures were still high. It was still sunny and even though we tried, the extra blanket on the bed was just too hot. And then all at once we had about a week of nice clouded skies and that cool fall breeze.

About a week, until the air got winter-cold and the skies cleared and were filled with that harsh winter  sunlight (that sunlight that's always low in the sky and does nothing to warm you with the wind whipping at your nose and ears) 

Now the trees are bare and the skies are still clear and sunny, the kind of weather I wanted to leave in Colorado. I'm looking forward to that blanket of clouds, whenever it comes back. 


a list of blogposts I was planning to write

Monday, November 3, 2014


First, lets say a little word of thanks that half-and-half comes in hot pink cartons sometimes. (Go Alpenrose!) 

Okay moving on to business. 

The past weeks have been that strange combination of busy and not busy. You know the kind. Where in the moment, you feel busy, weighted with stuff to do. But then at night, in bed, when you're looking back on the day, you can't quite remember what it was that was weighing on you. 

Either way. 

There have been several blog posts I've been meaning to write. Below are the cliff notes versions. 


No.1 A post about bike transportation and how it makes me appreciate the world so much more--fall leaves, and the wind hitting my cheeks, and the silky puddles. (Also just appreciate that phrase for a second: silky puddles.)

No.2 A post about a screen shot taken from a Gilmore Girls episode and how it relates to my BFA thesis and, more overarchingly, my photographic work as a whole. (Yes this is real and will be happening.)

No.3 A post about the car accident (!) I got in. Spoiler alert: I'm okay. 

No.4 A post about atheism. (Actually I always mean to write this post and I can never get the words right and I always give up so there are a million drafts sitting on my computer and who knows if this will ever happen.)

No.5 A new set of film images. (No, I have to finish shooting my roll of film first.)

No.6 A post about my job. (I always want to write this post, so so much, but I try to refrain from talking directly about my job on this here little blog. So suffice it to say that I sometimes feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, I sometimes feel on top of the world, I sometimes wish I was still in school, and I sometimes wish I could skip to the end of this "book" (bad metaphor for life, you guys) and read how it all ends up.)


So lets see. I will definitely write blogpost number 2, maybe write blogpost number 3 (it won't be as cool and dramatic as if I'd written it the day it happened like I meant to), will hopefully one day write blogpost number 4, even if it takes me years. 5 will happen in due time, calm down. Number 1 can happen after number 5, there should be a great bike image on that roll of film. And number 6, well, we already talked about that didn't we?

Happy Monday everyone. I hope the rest of your night involves cookies, maybe a nice night shower, and a few episodes of Gilmore Girls.