Rabbits, etc.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Today several things happened, which I will detail below. 

No.1 I had a exciting and inspiring business phone call.
No.2 I held a rabbit.  
No.3 I had a critique for my Constellations.
No.4 I ran into an old (sort of) co-worker.

Okay, now details. 

No.1 Actually, per my no-blogging-about-work rule I can't talk about this one. However, I can say that it's extremely weird that I can use the phrase "had a business call" non-ironically. You guys, I literally was on the phone the other day (unrelated to today) and said, "I just have to run to the bank." How did I become this person and why do I sound like I should be wearing a suit when really, I'm just wearing the same clothes as always. 

No.2 I HELD A RABBIT. Furthermore, this rabbit had a harness and leash. I could not stop grinning. I was freaking out about this rabbit. I don't know if it was because I was a little giddy about the business phone call, or what, but this rabbit made my day. I will now demonstrate with pictures:

p.s. to the owners of the rabbit, I'm sorry for freaking out hardcore. 

No.3 I had a critique for my Constellations. They are coming along. They are coming along rather slowly, but after making 6 pieces I have a direction and I am going to keep pushing forward. The Newspace Volunteer Critiques are seriously one of the biggest things that keep me going and I am so grateful to this community. Here is a picture (that fellow critiquer Heather took): 

That's me, at the head of the table! 

No.4 I ran into an old (sort of) co-worker. This was a girl I knew from my customer service days. She worked for Danner also, but in the art department. She was one of the only people who I talked to there and connected with. It was nice running into her because she always makes me feel like I can actually pursue a creative living, which is a thought that should be running through my head more often. It's also strange and wonderful to run into someone who's not in your inner circle and just realize how far beyond your reach you can push yourself. 

Am I sounding like a motivational blog yet? Good, cause it's almost midnight. And that means it's time for midnight promises. 


Wednesday, January 28, 2015

From a million (5?) years ago. All the small details of a space long in the past.

Tonight I made a new Constellation. It feels good to flex those parts of my brain. To simply arrange photographs in the way that they make sense. To put things together. It always pleases me to use a combination of old and new imagery. I like to think about my younger self, taking these photographs, not really knowing where they'll end up. (Even in some cases, my self from last week.) It definitely makes me appreciate all the tiny little photographs I take.

I've also been re-reading my favorite book series from high school: the Jessica Darling books by Megan McCafferty. The last two in the series chronicle her post-grad life, which is obviously a lot more applicable to me now than it was back then... It's funny to read something that I had read so many times so many years ago. There's actually a reference to The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, by Oliver Sacks! Which is one of the books I quoted and read for my thesis. I hadn't made this connection until now.

Now my eyes are getting a little (a lot) heavy, and Steele is already in bed. I haven't been writing here enough. I think I got psyched out my own blog. You know, anxious about putting something great up each time. But I look back at my archives and the stuff I'm always the most grateful for is totally normal. It reminds me: I do this for me. I hope that you (yes, you) get something out of it too, but at the end of the day, it is what it is. A personal archive.

Night, all.

Another day

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Everyday the light hits the walls, grows slowly and passes over the sink, onto the counter, down to the floor, before it disappears. Sometimes I come out of our room and see it and those moments seem to last decades, a century passes in the time it takes me to note the precise way the sink is bathed in light. I pause mid-step and I swear every time I think about grabbing my camera, but I don't. I always take that next step. 

Today I walked around the apartment without my glasses on. It was pure laziness, I didn't want to get a new pair of contacts ready this morning, so I wore my glasses. I have a tendency though, to take them off when reading or at the computer (90% of my working day) so I end up forgetting to put them back on and walking around only able to see about a foot and a half in front of me. For the house it's no big deal. Things are blurry but I focus much closer anyway, It's a strange sort of visual isolation: just me and the dust motes. 

Everything seems trivial right now. I'm knitting. I'm working. I'm doing this crazy Whole30. Steele and I part every morning and come back together every evening, just like a normal working couple. 

I guess I've been on a plateau for a while now. Maybe I'll come to a canyon soon, or a bridge, or a fall, or maybe the grade will incline and I'll lose my breath again. 

Does the end of January always have this slump? Like, resolutions have been set and made (and are being followed, to some extent) but there just this feeling. This feeling like we're waiting for the rest of the year to start. (This kind of thinking is how I always get to March feeling like, where have the last two months gone?) 

I'm definitely one for making midnight promises. The kind that you feel very passionate about until you wake up the next morning and go through another day and just feel like slumping on the couch at the end of it. But you know, I guess I'll keep making them. Maybe instead of waiting for the next thing to come at me (the fall, the incline, the canyon) I should start running towards something, anything.

(Now doesn't that just all sound so metaphorical?)

the ins and outs

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Hi guys. Believe it or not, I've been doing a pretty good job keeping up with my resolutions. (Even though that obviously hasn't been reflected here as I haven't posted in 10 days.) I've been writing almost every day, which has helped so much in making me feel like I actually know myself and am participating in my life. I've been keeping up at the gym and Steele and I are planning our Whole30 this weekend. (Eep!) Waking up early has been so-so, but I knew it would be the hardest one so I'm not losing hope. (It means a lot of late nights though, to keep up with work.)

Truth be told, I've been working a lot. Work fluctuates from week to week for me, so some weeks are lighter, but the past two weeks have been hectic. Two of the brands I work for (I work for 4 total!) have had respective projects that needed special attention. Unfortunately that hasn't left me much time for working on creative projects. (One of my more important resolutions...) But I did drop off 6 rolls of film, and started shooting another roll of black and white 220 in the Mamiya, so there's that. I've also got a Volunteer Crit coming up, and that always motivates me to whip out a few process pieces.

I realize this is all rather mundane, but it's what's running through my head right now. Nothing too poetic. Just the normal ins and outs of this life of mine.

Today was another one of those normal days. I had a few last touches on a project for work. A bunch of emails to send. I have to go into Pigeon Toe and then I'm going to the gym. I will get home around 7 and make dinner, and hopefully get to bed early so I can do it all again tomorrow.

Hope everyone had a great day :) 

FOUCUS + 2015 resolutions

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Hello fourth day of 2015. Hello January. Hello. 

It's funny, about a week ago (far far in advance of the new year ;) I sat down at my kitchen table and wrote out all of the things in my life I'd like to shift. (All the bricks, re: my post from December 23rd) I drew out this map. (A mind map, or a goal map, if you will.) It's nice to see that all of my goals are connected somehow. It give me hope that making one positive change could make a difference in other seemingly unrelated areas. 

I wrote about choosing a word for the year last January, in line with Ali Edwards &  Elise Joy. Though I won't be taking Ali's class or making a scrapbook with my word, or really anything along those lines, I still love the idea of having on overarching idea for the year that can help guide goals. My word for 2015 is going to be Focus. (With a capital F!) 

I like that it's direct. I like that it's an action word that can literally be put into sentences telling me what to do. (The way I decided on it was by journaling about what I wanted to do this year.) My word last year was a little bit more open ended. (Which for me, made it hard to focus (ha, no pun intended)  on making it a part of my life) 

To break it down, here is a list of more concrete goals: 

—I will rid myself of distraction. This is a big big big one. I spend way too much time scrolling aimlessly through instagram, reading blogs I don't care about, binge watching TV, etc. I'd like to fill those spare moments with the things below: 

—I will write every day. (This is what I'll be using my daily tracker to monitor.) This can be as simple as journaling, or more in-depth. I find that when I take just a few minutes out of my day to write I feel more like myself, and it fosters other creative habits. (Like drawing in my sketchbook, writing stories, posting blogs!)

—I will wake up and start the day early. This is going to be the hard one for me. I'm using a second tracker for it because I think seeing the little bits of progress with it will be motivating. Like writing, when I have time to myself at the beginning of the day, I feel much more grounded and so much less stressed out. (But I have the hardest time getting up early. Obviously part of this is going to bed earlier. But for some reason, I'm just a beast to get up in the morning, as Steele can attest.) 

—I will focus on creative projects: my new body of constellations, this blog, tiny weavings, writing, and getting out and taking photographs. (Hopefully more structured projects can stem from here. I thrive on projects with set numbers and deadlines.) 

—I will focus on budgeting. (This is a goal with Steele and we're really excited about it, hooray for being grownups. And hooray for spreadsheets.) 

—I will focus on eating healthy. Cutting out dairy is a goal of mine. Steele and I may attempt a Whole30, but either way we really need to get better about meal planning, etc. Is it just me or is meal planning one of the hardest parts of living on your own?

Whew. Okay. This is huge. This is so much stuff. But I have told myself for years that I won't make all of these resolutions that I can't possibly accomplish. And this year, I'm doing the opposite. These are (most of) the things in my life that I'd like to shift. I may not succeed, or I may make the smallest tiniest steps forward, but at this point I'd rather lay it all out there. 

Time to Focus.

p.s. If you made it through all of that, you're awesome! Leave me your email address and I will write you a haiku. (or you can email me and I will reply with a haiku! brittanyvchavez@gmail.com.)