A series of choices

Saturday, February 14, 2015

It's been a while since I've really dug in deep and wrote about my relationship with Steele. That used to happen all the time. But lately, it hasn't felt as necessary. Each post would be things are good, things are good, things are good.

We've been growing up, and let me tell you, growing up does not always correlate so nicely with being in a relationship. It's why they always tell you that people don't end up with their high school sweethearts. They always tell you that you have to learn how to be a person first before you can be in a serious relationship. They tell you that things will change, that you'll change as people, and not always at the same pace.

Well, they're right.

It's funny, I've been with Steele for over 7 years, but I feel like I've had so many different relationships with him. We've gone through multiple life cycles as we've aged from teenagers to (mostly) functioning humans in the adult world.

There were so many growing pains. The kind of growing pains where I thought I was growing right out of my own skin. There were a lot of forks in the road. Forks where we could have given up, walked away, turned hard and bitter, eaten each other alive. Sometimes it feels like a dream that we've ended up on this path together still. Then I remember that it's not a dream, it was a choice. A series of choices really, just choosing again and again to stay together and face those growing pains as a pair.

Right now, today, I've never felt more certain. And that certainty has taken years and years to build. To be able to write that sentence is a huge, huge thing for me. I'm sure the growth cycle will continue. That there will be hard times, scary times, and dull times. But this is the most important thing I believe deeply: We will always be growing together and back again.

(The top image was shot on the Mamiya C330 on the summit of Mt. Ashland. The bottom images are 35mm from the past year and a half, shot with the Pentax K1000)


  1. Beautiful. I have always enjoyed watching (and reading) your love story.

  2. A wonderful story. It's interesting that you talk about growing together. Last year I got back together with someone I met and started dating when I was 19. He has depression and at the time I was too young and uneducated to cope with it or see a future with us together so we went our separate ways. 13 years later we got back in contact by chance, we met up and realised that we still loved each other, some how we both grew in the same direction but we were apart all of this time. Now we're engaged, he still has depression of course but I'm older and wiser and over the years I took the time to educate myself about it. I always regretted leaving him and sometimes I wonder if we'd worked things out would we still be together now, but then I think that I needed to go and grow up and bit, discover a bit life, but I sometimes mourn for the time we spent apart. I have no doubt now that I am back where I am supposed to be and it's wonderful.

    1. That's such a sweet story! I often wonder the opposite--if Steele and I had split up for a long period of time and grew separately, would we still have found each other later in life?

  3. This makes me happy, and I can totally relate. There are so many moments when you can choose to walk away, but don't. I fully believe that choosing to stay, and staying through so much, only deepens your connection and love.

  4. I meant to comment on this the day you posted. I absolutely loved this post so much! Growth is painful, but it's also so beautiful. And, when you find someone you can grow with?? It's just the most amazing thing in the world.


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