Tuesday, July 21, 2015

This upcoming Friday is the opening for Self-Similar, the group show I mentioned in my last life update post.

240 N. Broadway St.
Friday July 24th 6-10 pm (<--This will be the fun night.)
Saturday July 25 & Sunday July 26 12-4 pm

I'll be showing the work I've been making for the past year, the body of Constellations. I've titled it (the body of work as a whole) Evidence of Something. Developing a body of work outside of school has been one of the biggest challenges post graduation, and it's also been the most rewarding. I'm working on a statement for Self-Similar, and one of the lines reads, "We make art because we can’t not make it. We’ve pushed forward because we don’t know any other way." And that's definitely true for me. There have been many times I've wanted to just give up on this work. A lot of nights and mornings and afternoons at my desk where I was thinking it was all a waste, that it was stupid, that it didn't matter. But I kept making it because I didn't know what else to do with myself. This is who I am. I kept at it because I wanted to, for the simple joy of arranging images that were burned into my memory, or images that were forgotten and found again. And for the hours spent in the print lab watching images come into the world. But mostly because, this is the only road in front of me.

For the past few months I’ve been meeting with a group of artists (who happen to be my good friends) for monthly critiques. The dialogue at these crits has been such a drive to continue making art. And the coming together of the five of us is the biggest reason for this show. We've planned it and put it on ourselves. No curator. No lighting person. No install team. Just us.

The show feels like a big deal. For me, it's the first time this work is going out into the world in an intentional way. That's a huge thing! It's not a fancy gallery. It's not a solo show. Likely the people who will be there will know and love us. But, still, it's a show. People will look at the work and talk about it. These pieces will be on the wall. For a weekend, they'll have that validation. They'll become bigger than me, this tiny white box, my thoughts rung around my head. In short, they'll be real.

If you're in Portland, you silent blog readers, please come. There will be wine, and there will be music, and there will be so much art that needs eyes to look at it.

my left hand

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

You guys, I was shifting through the archives the other day and I realized how many images I have of my left hand. It's pretty obvious why, my right hand is always holding the camera, duh ;) Hand photos aren't really a big deal, but my left hand has taken on a little bit more emotional weight since Steele slid my ring onto my left ring finger. So when I noticed this unintentional collection of images it made me just a little bit nostalgic. I think the way time folds in on itself will always baffle me. These photos were just tiny moments, and now I can look back on them and see them as a path that led me here.

life update + a shadow self

Monday, July 6, 2015

Hiii two in one day! Sort of. It's 11:18 pm, but you know. Anyway. It's been a while... (It's been a while) Here we go!

>I got a studio space! This is a HUGE BIG DEAL. So big that I have not found the words to write about it. So big that I have not found the thoughts to think about it. But now, I will try a little bit:

Just to refresh, the last time I had a studio was during my thesis year. Here is my blogpost from the day I cleaned it out. I've spent the time since graduating with a desk and a wall in my living room. Photography has the wonderful ability to be worked on from home, so long as you're working digitally. Which made it a little hard for me to justify a studio space. (Whilst Steele's art requires space and a place to be messy. He's had a studio since the winter following our graduation.) But eventually it became clear that in order for me to move forward with any sort of serious art making I would need a space to make it in. A space to think. A space to remove myself from my life. A mental space. And a physical space, to hang things up. To put a chair. To bring books. To sit and do nothing. And now I do have that space, and it is costing me, but it's so very worth it. It's shared with three other artists, so when I say I have a studio, I mean that I have a 100sf corner. But it's enough room for the desk and the chair and to have two walls to hang work on. It's a dream come true. More to come on this. Maybe I will start a weekly studio feature. Hmm.

>On the art note, I am helping plan a show! (And will be showing in it, as well.) It's a group show called Self-Similar and will be taking place for a weekend at the end of July. (The 24-26) I'll have more info about it soon, but I hope to see some of you silent blog readers there, if you live in Portland, that is.

>I am engaged! (Okay, you already knew that one, but still. I think it's place on a life update post is justified.) But that really brings me to...

>We are planning a wedding! Ah! Or, more accurately, we are trying to plan a wedding and mostly flailing about not really knowing what to do exactly. Sound right? This blog will never ever be a wedding blog. (Even though I love wedding blogs and have since long before I was engaged.) But I will give you a brief update: the wedding is going to be small. Immediate family + friends. (Around 55 people total.) Right now we are focused on finding the place. Then all the fun parts of planning can start. Also, you guys, holy shit. If there were ever a time to have an anxiety attack about money, now would be it. All of this to say, shout-out if you know of any amazingly cheep and beautiful venues in Portland.

>Still been loving the Fuji X-T1. So glad I made the choice to switch to it. Thankful for it every day. And so glad all my anxieties about buying a camera ended with that feeling. That's all.

>Okay, this one's sort of boring but: Steele and I have been meal planning! We've gotten fairly okay at it. We sit down on Sunday and plan our lunches and dinners for the week and then go shopping for all the things. If we know we're going to be out, we put that on the plan. (Which makes me feel so much less guilty for going out to eat, since I know it will be necessary) It's been really helpful and while there are weeks that we fall behind, I feel like we're doing a pretty good job. It also helps us stick to our food budget. (We've been using YNAB for our budget and that's been going really well also.)

>One last normal thing: I started reading Game of Thrones. I'm about a million years late to the party, but I'm enjoying it.

river day

During our last critique, Ali pointed out that every single one of my new pieces has an image of some sort of body of water. I'm hardly the first person to be captivated by running water, the sea, puddles, or rain. But still I can't really deny that it's a subject that shows up again and again in my imagery. And looking back there are all these periods of my life that are marked by water. The river that ran through my hometown, the creek that fed into it, the swimming hole with the waterfall I stood under with Carly. The Willamette running through Portland, biking over it, photographing it at dusk, midday, dawn, evening. Our first drive into Portland by the Columbia. And all the drives that have followed.

But today I have images from one of my most recent trips to the Washougal. It is the river I visit most frequently, usually with Julia, Karoline, or Melina. Sometimes all of them. Sometimes new people. Sometimes Steele. It's a short drive from Portland up into Washington. It's rocky, slippery, the current is strong enough that you can float down it, but not so strong that you get taken by it.

I still find swimming to be such an odd thing. I'm not really all that good at it. Although I did beat Julia in a race ;) Mostly, I'm good at floating on my back. I'm good at letting my ears sink under the water so I can't hear anything, and looking up at the sky and pretending nothing exists but the trees and the blue. Pretending I don't even exist. I'm also okay at doing somersaults under the water. (That's just fun.)

Anyways, all this poetic rambling to set you up for this set of images that are really so normal. For all my poetics, this day was also so simple and ordinary. (In it's river-ness.) There were fruits and sunglasses and drives home with the music turned up so loud. Lots of jokes about swimsuit tops that fall off easily. Lots of laughter. We left when the sun was setting, the sky was that perfect shade of dusk blue. Julia and I pulled off the road to watch the sunset over a little valley. Then we made the drive home.